I had an interesting encounter this past weekend. As expected, the minute Thanksgiving is over we are inundated with Christmas--everything from music to shopping and decorations, etc. I was washing dishes and my son was watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, one of his favorite shows. Well...the episode just happened to be about Mickey and the gang saving Santa so that he could deliver presents to all the good children of the world on Christmas.
Now, my family celebrates Christmas. I also happen to observe Yule in my own ways, and have included my family in some ritual traditions over the years. As my son gets older I fully plan to continue observing both holidays for the coming together of family and the joy of the season. But this encounter with Mickey and Santa has me perplexed. I mentioned to my husband that I'm not completely convinced I want to lie to our son about Santa--as in, this fat old white guy flies all over the world and delivers presents to good children. The arguments against perpetuating such a lie are well summarized here:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/plato-pop/201312/the-santa-claus-lie-debate-answering-objections
(I'm also not a fan of the elf on the shelf, but that is for another post) I realize as a Pagan parent in our modern American society there are common cultural influences that we are exposed to regularly. I listen to classical Christmas choir music, which is eternally about the miracle birth of Christ our savior even though I am not Christian. I get that Santa is something that my kid will encounter and I'm working on formulating how and when I can navigate these conversations (both baby Jesus and Santa) while giving my son the space to choose what he wants to believe. In the end that's my ultimate goal: how can I maintain my authenticity as a Pagan parent while allowing my son to do the same? Any constructive feedback on the subject is welcome.
Blessings,
Denora
Showing posts with label Spiritual. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Spiritual. Show all posts
Friday, December 5, 2014
Friday, October 10, 2014
Sermon on John 6:48-59
Sermon:
John 6: 48-59
“May you never hunger...” is a statement that is uttered
during a ritual honoring the connective relationship between man, nature, and
the Gods. It is a phrase I have said many times as I hand bread to a person
next to me and they receive it. In many ways, bread symbolizes life for
humanity. In a literal sense, bread can sustain us when we are hungry. The act
of grinding grain, mixing it with water, and applying heat is a process that
both uses energy and provides energy for the body to utilize. From a spiritual
perspective, bread is the embodied representation of deity.
But what is the significance of the act of offering
something to another? When I reach out my hand to offer bread to another, and
by uttering the words “May you never hunger,” I’m not intending to say “I hope
you never experience hunger again” in a literal sense because we all experience
hunger on a daily basis. In some way I’m saying I hope you will never want for
sustenance to sustain you—both physically and spiritually. I want you to always
have your fill—your connection to humanity and the divine.
John
6:58 states: “This is the bread that came down from heaven, not like that which
your ancestors ate, and they died. But the one who eats this bread will live
forever.”
In this statement Jesus is referencing himself as the bread
of heaven and the way to eternal life. In a sense, he is offering himself the
way we offer when we reach out our hand with bread to another.
I want to backtrack a little to the statement of “That which
your ancestors ate.” Two Greek terms are used in reference to eating in John 6:
48-59. The first is phago, meaning to
eat, devour, and consume. It is a singular destructive action and we see this
term in words like phagocyte and phagein. The other term is trogo, meaning to gnaw or chew, and
stresses the slow internal process of taking in.
When the ancestors ate
(phago) the manna given to them by God in the wilderness, it sustained them
in a physical sense. It cured the temporary hunger that is part of the human
condition. But it did nothing to sustain the spiritual hunger, or the
connection to the divine and to each other. Each person gathered what they
needed to sustain their physical form, but this distills each day to a process
of gathering and consuming which brings no true satisfaction and fulfillment.
When Jesus says “The one who eats this bread will live
forever,” he is using the continuous form of eat (trogo) to delineate the human need for continuous connection
and the long, slow process of internalization that is not simply satisfied by a
one-time encounter. Additionally, he is offering himself as one offers bread to
another around the table of fellowship—building a relationship which is
sustained over time. The act of internalization (trogo) provides the building blocks our body uses to renew itself
over and over, creating a new and energized body that can focus on the world
outside of the individual need to consume.
We are all familiar with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, and
how food is one of the first, basic foundational needs in order for us to
survive and scale the pyramid to self-actualization. But what if, instead of a
pyramid, our needs form a circle that is continuous and life affirming. When we
reach a hand out to another and offer bread, we offer physical comfort as well
as the connection to each other and to the divine that allows us to become the
best version of ourselves. Instead of climbing over each other in an effort to
reach the top of the pyramid, we are joined in the reminder that we all have
needs—we hunger, we thirst, and we need each other. This is how I take Jesus’
words to heart, and why I feel it is the act of offering himself as the bread
that is the connection. So in closing, I say “May you never hunger.” So mote it be.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
When Crossroads Intersect
There is something to be said about pain. Not the physical kind necessarily, though that does deserve its own acknowledgement. I'm referencing emotional pain.
What is it about the capacity to wound without causing physical damage to another? How can we directly measure the level of pain we cause purposefully, much less inadvertently?
Do we worry about going through life intentionally trying to avoid pain? And can we grow as human beings without it?
I would argue pain is a byproduct of our capacity to love. When we love something or someone the last thing we want to do is hurt them, but in the end we might hurt them worse than anyone else.
It is in the midst of this pain that real growth happens. It is in the time of darkness that we truly grow to appreciate the light. I try and sit with this pain. Understand it. Acknowledge it and give it space to exist without judgement. What is my pain trying to tell me? How is pain in another manifested? Where do the two intersect?
If I cause you pain, is there a place where the mending makes us stronger?
Denora
What is it about the capacity to wound without causing physical damage to another? How can we directly measure the level of pain we cause purposefully, much less inadvertently?
Do we worry about going through life intentionally trying to avoid pain? And can we grow as human beings without it?
I would argue pain is a byproduct of our capacity to love. When we love something or someone the last thing we want to do is hurt them, but in the end we might hurt them worse than anyone else.
It is in the midst of this pain that real growth happens. It is in the time of darkness that we truly grow to appreciate the light. I try and sit with this pain. Understand it. Acknowledge it and give it space to exist without judgement. What is my pain trying to tell me? How is pain in another manifested? Where do the two intersect?
If I cause you pain, is there a place where the mending makes us stronger?
Denora
Monday, June 16, 2014
The Space Between
Many things have changed recently, one of the most notable being my acceptance into a ten-week intensive CPE internship at Johns Hopkins. I can't say enough good things about the hospital's stance on religious pluralism, and how they incorporate spiritual health as a benchmark of overall health for the patient. Here's a bit from their homepage: http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/pastoralcare/
Many people have asked me if it's an issue for me to exist in a primarily Christian institution (JHH has approximately 20% Catholic patients overall) and my answer is somewhere in the middle. On the one hand, I have willingly inserted myself into this system knowing that my spiritual beliefs fall into a minority category. However, for me the crucial piece revolves around the meaning of healing for the patient. If when I am praying with a patient and we have entered into a sacred space where our theological understandings meet, I feel the encounter holds positive merit. I do feel odd sometimes not disclosing my faith to patients. But then I have to ask myself, does that really matter? If we are all human and need love, and if I am bringing love to another person does it matter if I am doing it in the name of Jesus or the Goddess?
Blessings,
Denora
Many people have asked me if it's an issue for me to exist in a primarily Christian institution (JHH has approximately 20% Catholic patients overall) and my answer is somewhere in the middle. On the one hand, I have willingly inserted myself into this system knowing that my spiritual beliefs fall into a minority category. However, for me the crucial piece revolves around the meaning of healing for the patient. If when I am praying with a patient and we have entered into a sacred space where our theological understandings meet, I feel the encounter holds positive merit. I do feel odd sometimes not disclosing my faith to patients. But then I have to ask myself, does that really matter? If we are all human and need love, and if I am bringing love to another person does it matter if I am doing it in the name of Jesus or the Goddess?
Blessings,
Denora
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Ostara: Spring has Sprung
The wheel continues to turn, and now we've come to the Vernal Equinox. Ostara, that time when the daylight hours finally catch up to the night and darkness. We can feel winter's release from the land as it slowly retreats. I took my son outside the other day and we touched the plants just beginning to bud. The green life is just waiting to spring forth--it's so close!
Robins have come back and are grabbing worms out of the earth in the morning. The skinny squirrels, after a long and harsh winter season are hurriedly rushing around restocking and eating to gain weight. The groundhog that lives in my back yard and warned me of how harsh our winter would be looks like he has lost fifteen pounds. I can smell the earth finally thawing.
The sun on my skin feels new--not quite the intensity of summer, but just a kiss right now. The grocery stores are stocked with bitter greens; kale, asparagus, collard, arugula, bok choy...all these things to flush out the heaviness of winter foods that we've stored for so long. Our bodies yearn for movement, craving the fresh air.
The Vernal Equinox relates to balance, rebirth, renewal, and resurrection. The symbolism of the Easter egg is tied to fertility and the rebirth of the cosmos. The rabbit is also a symbol of fertility, in addition to its dual nature of dwelling in two worlds--underground and above ground thus its association with the earth and underworld. The Goddess is Maiden in all her glory, youthful and new. The God is coming into his maturity and the dance of their love is innocent.
This spring comes with new promise. New life, and new beginnings are in the air. Go outside, enjoy the sunshine, and celebrate that spring has sprung!
Robins have come back and are grabbing worms out of the earth in the morning. The skinny squirrels, after a long and harsh winter season are hurriedly rushing around restocking and eating to gain weight. The groundhog that lives in my back yard and warned me of how harsh our winter would be looks like he has lost fifteen pounds. I can smell the earth finally thawing.
The sun on my skin feels new--not quite the intensity of summer, but just a kiss right now. The grocery stores are stocked with bitter greens; kale, asparagus, collard, arugula, bok choy...all these things to flush out the heaviness of winter foods that we've stored for so long. Our bodies yearn for movement, craving the fresh air.
The Vernal Equinox relates to balance, rebirth, renewal, and resurrection. The symbolism of the Easter egg is tied to fertility and the rebirth of the cosmos. The rabbit is also a symbol of fertility, in addition to its dual nature of dwelling in two worlds--underground and above ground thus its association with the earth and underworld. The Goddess is Maiden in all her glory, youthful and new. The God is coming into his maturity and the dance of their love is innocent.
This spring comes with new promise. New life, and new beginnings are in the air. Go outside, enjoy the sunshine, and celebrate that spring has sprung!
Saturday, March 22, 2014
In Memoriam: Judy Harrow
I first met Judy Harrow at my first Sacred Well Convention in 2010. My best friend and I had decided to go together and there were probably 80 or so people there. We ended up in the same cabin as roomies.
My first impression of her was curious--this woman was clearly respected in our community but I had not heard of her. She had a soft voice and a wisdom that drew me to her. As the weekend went on we listened to her around the fire or I caught small conversations with her about the Goddess and what it means to be a priestess. I remember her telling me about drawing down the moon and what that's like. After the conference I bought her book "Spiritual Mentoring: A Pagan Guide" and found that to be very insightful.
Throughout the years I have come to understand the threads that are woven in our community starting with our elders. They are the ones who have walked the path before us, but we are the ones who will carry the torch in their absence. Judy will leave many behind who have benefited from her teachings and her presence, including me. I can't say it any better than Taniquetil: "Sister Cliendori, may the Ferryman guide you safely to the Summerland."
Here is a Patheos post on her passing: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/themediawitches/2014/03/sad-sudden-loss-of-a-pagan-elder-rest-in-peace-judy-harrow/
Here is her information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judy_Harrow
My first impression of her was curious--this woman was clearly respected in our community but I had not heard of her. She had a soft voice and a wisdom that drew me to her. As the weekend went on we listened to her around the fire or I caught small conversations with her about the Goddess and what it means to be a priestess. I remember her telling me about drawing down the moon and what that's like. After the conference I bought her book "Spiritual Mentoring: A Pagan Guide" and found that to be very insightful.
Throughout the years I have come to understand the threads that are woven in our community starting with our elders. They are the ones who have walked the path before us, but we are the ones who will carry the torch in their absence. Judy will leave many behind who have benefited from her teachings and her presence, including me. I can't say it any better than Taniquetil: "Sister Cliendori, may the Ferryman guide you safely to the Summerland."
Here is a Patheos post on her passing: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/themediawitches/2014/03/sad-sudden-loss-of-a-pagan-elder-rest-in-peace-judy-harrow/
Here is her information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judy_Harrow
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Imbolc: Behold the Return of the Sun
The wheel of the year turns now to the coming of Spring and the shedding of Winter. It is Imbolc, Midwinter, and the face of the Goddess returns to her maidenhood. Here in the Northeast we are facing the threat of another snow storm--winter has not yet had its final say.
The days have been getting longer, the sun a little warmer in between bouts of snow. If you walk outside and listen hard enough you can almost feel and hear the trees and grasses stirring. Spring is coming. Geese are coming back. Birds are hailing the return of the sun. In our hearts we can feel the seasons changing and it brings us hope.
This is the time of year to think about resolutions. Generally we made those around January 1st--bright promises to lose weight or get a new job or buy a new car--but by now reality has set in and let us know if we were a little too ambitious. Now is the time to light the candles and open a window to let some fresh air in after the dark winter. We are looking forward to this year and all that comes with it.
This is the day of Brigid, mother of the flame and of poetry, healing, smithcraft, and midwifery. We honor her this day and light the sacred flame:
We honor you blessed mother, waters of life being renewed
We honor you young stag and sun child, eagerly awaiting your coming
The Sacred Wheel Continues to Turn,
We are reborn in the light of the new day
As a Pagan in modern times it is essential for me to connect with the energies of life and earth around me which keep me grounded. All too often we are running so fast we forget to stop and feel what our mother is saying to us in her own way--Spring is coming. Life is returning. The darkness is subsiding and my children can rejoice once more. Modern practices allow us to remember the symbolism of ancient rites. I light a white candle on this day to represent the Goddess and her sacred flame, reminding me to take the time to breathe and rejoice in the coming of the new day.
The days have been getting longer, the sun a little warmer in between bouts of snow. If you walk outside and listen hard enough you can almost feel and hear the trees and grasses stirring. Spring is coming. Geese are coming back. Birds are hailing the return of the sun. In our hearts we can feel the seasons changing and it brings us hope.
This is the time of year to think about resolutions. Generally we made those around January 1st--bright promises to lose weight or get a new job or buy a new car--but by now reality has set in and let us know if we were a little too ambitious. Now is the time to light the candles and open a window to let some fresh air in after the dark winter. We are looking forward to this year and all that comes with it.
This is the day of Brigid, mother of the flame and of poetry, healing, smithcraft, and midwifery. We honor her this day and light the sacred flame:
We honor you blessed mother, waters of life being renewed
We honor you young stag and sun child, eagerly awaiting your coming
The Sacred Wheel Continues to Turn,
We are reborn in the light of the new day
As a Pagan in modern times it is essential for me to connect with the energies of life and earth around me which keep me grounded. All too often we are running so fast we forget to stop and feel what our mother is saying to us in her own way--Spring is coming. Life is returning. The darkness is subsiding and my children can rejoice once more. Modern practices allow us to remember the symbolism of ancient rites. I light a white candle on this day to represent the Goddess and her sacred flame, reminding me to take the time to breathe and rejoice in the coming of the new day.
Monday, November 11, 2013
Variation on the Word Motherhood
My very best friend introduced me to a wonderful poem by Margaret Atwood titled "Variation on the Word Sleep." I loved it so much I asked her to read it at my wedding, but my favorite line goes something like this:
"I would like to give the the silver branch, the small white flower, the one word that will protect you from the grief at the center of your dream, from the grief at the center. I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary."
Motherhood reminds me of something like this dichotomy. I want to protect my child from the world, yet I realize in time I must simply be the foundation upon which his independence took root--that unnoticed and yet that necessary. To do anything else is to disrupt what I fear is the delicate balance of life.
Another friend of mine recommended a book to help me struggle through the first few weeks of motherhood. I had what the modern day medical institution likes to term "baby blues" but what I would deem to be full on post partum depression mixed with "I have no idea what the hell I'm doing or what's going on" syndrome. The book is called A Life's Work: On Becoming a Mother by Rachel Cusk and it was momentous in helping me understand what I was going through was normal even though it felt about as far from normal as anything I've ever experienced. Motherhood in its infancy is messy and terrible, and this book does a pretty good job of highlighting some things you've thought about but never wanted to discuss: http://www.amazon.com/Lifes-Work-On-Becoming-Mother/dp/0312311303/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1384194412&sr=8-2&keywords=a+lifes+work
I've taken the liberty of highlighting some of the most powerful quotes that for me summed up everything in how I was feeling. I still can't say I'm over everything and running on all cylinders. I can however say I'm taking it day by day. I am better than I was and I continue to find balance in this new life. Some of the things she says in her book are horrible. They may even border on taboo in so much that she holds nothing back in her transition into parenthood and what it cost her. I can't say I haven't shared some of her thoughts...but these are the inner struggles of a very personal nature. I still wouldn't change anything.
"If parental love is the blueprint for all loves, it is also a re-enactment, a revision, an investigation of self-love. When I care for my child I revisit my own vulnerability, my primordial helplessness....Love is more respectable, more practical, more hardworking than I had ever suspected, but it lies close to the power to destroy."
--I am constantly shocked at the capacity of the human heart to love. Just when I feel like I can't possibly love my husband any more than I do I see him interact with our son and I love him all the more for being a wonderful father. The day my son came into this world my heart and the center of gravity of my world suddenly shifted to this tiny creature. It is exciting and frightening to think how much of me is wrapped into this cosmos of my family, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
"There is in truth no utterance that could express the magnitude of the change from woman or man to mother or father, and in the absence of definitive statement the subject becomes peopled with delusions and ghosts, with mis-apprehensions and exaggerations and underestimations, becomes separated from the general drift of human conversation, so that parenthood is not a transition but a defection, a political act."
--I constantly reflect on the change that happens when you become a parent. Suddenly the things that mattered so much before really have no bearing. You also become one of "them"--those individuals who seem obsessed with their children and that's all they can talk about. It isn't all of me, but it has become so much of me that to not talk about it is to not acknowledge the single most important shift in my life.
"Caring for him is like being responsible for the weather, for the grass growing: my privileged relationship with tie has changed, and though these tasks are not yet arduous they already constitute a sort of serfdom, a slavery, in that I am not free to go. It is a humbling change. It represents too a reckoning of my former freedom, my distance from duty. The harness of motherhood chafes my skin, and yet occasionally I find predictable integrity in it too, a freedom of a different sort: from complexity and choice and from reams of unscripted time upon which I used to write my days, bearing the burden of their authorship. It does not escape me that in this last sentiment I am walking over the grave of my sex. The state of motherhood speaks to my native fear of achievement."
"I couldn't spend a Saturday morning reading, that I couldn't stroll unfettered in the warmth of a summer's evening or go swimming or wander down to the pub for a drink. The loss of these things seemed a high, an exorbitant price to pay for the privilege of motherhood; and though much was given back to me in the form of my daughter it was not payment in kind nor even in a different coin, was not in fact recompense of any sort."
--I can't say this prison of my own making isn't uncomfortable. It's like trying on a new skin and realizing nothing about you is the same. The ups are new types of up while the downs are the deepest darkest recesses of hell. Labor and delivery constitute a test of which when passed only charges you head on into a new and complex existence that you aren't prepared for. Nothing prepares you for this.
"I know it is the hardest work I have ever done I worry that my execution of it has been somehow flawed and unauthentic, a burned offering, a botched canvas. Perhaps it is only children who confer upon their parents this meaning I feel myself to lack...I vow to own my feelings of inadequacy and in authenticity. I vow to end this succession, this history of ruler and ruled, here with me."
--The intense primal desire to do well, to have an impact on this precious life and so to give your life meaning is the reason for continuing. These variations on motherhood are the paint that fleshes out the canvas of our existence. Without these depths we are nothing. But they are terrifying in the light of one's internal reflection. I have only begun the great work of shaping not only my son's life, but striving to understand my own.
Denora
"I would like to give the the silver branch, the small white flower, the one word that will protect you from the grief at the center of your dream, from the grief at the center. I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary."
Motherhood reminds me of something like this dichotomy. I want to protect my child from the world, yet I realize in time I must simply be the foundation upon which his independence took root--that unnoticed and yet that necessary. To do anything else is to disrupt what I fear is the delicate balance of life.
Another friend of mine recommended a book to help me struggle through the first few weeks of motherhood. I had what the modern day medical institution likes to term "baby blues" but what I would deem to be full on post partum depression mixed with "I have no idea what the hell I'm doing or what's going on" syndrome. The book is called A Life's Work: On Becoming a Mother by Rachel Cusk and it was momentous in helping me understand what I was going through was normal even though it felt about as far from normal as anything I've ever experienced. Motherhood in its infancy is messy and terrible, and this book does a pretty good job of highlighting some things you've thought about but never wanted to discuss: http://www.amazon.com/Lifes-Work-On-Becoming-Mother/dp/0312311303/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1384194412&sr=8-2&keywords=a+lifes+work
I've taken the liberty of highlighting some of the most powerful quotes that for me summed up everything in how I was feeling. I still can't say I'm over everything and running on all cylinders. I can however say I'm taking it day by day. I am better than I was and I continue to find balance in this new life. Some of the things she says in her book are horrible. They may even border on taboo in so much that she holds nothing back in her transition into parenthood and what it cost her. I can't say I haven't shared some of her thoughts...but these are the inner struggles of a very personal nature. I still wouldn't change anything.
"If parental love is the blueprint for all loves, it is also a re-enactment, a revision, an investigation of self-love. When I care for my child I revisit my own vulnerability, my primordial helplessness....Love is more respectable, more practical, more hardworking than I had ever suspected, but it lies close to the power to destroy."
--I am constantly shocked at the capacity of the human heart to love. Just when I feel like I can't possibly love my husband any more than I do I see him interact with our son and I love him all the more for being a wonderful father. The day my son came into this world my heart and the center of gravity of my world suddenly shifted to this tiny creature. It is exciting and frightening to think how much of me is wrapped into this cosmos of my family, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
"There is in truth no utterance that could express the magnitude of the change from woman or man to mother or father, and in the absence of definitive statement the subject becomes peopled with delusions and ghosts, with mis-apprehensions and exaggerations and underestimations, becomes separated from the general drift of human conversation, so that parenthood is not a transition but a defection, a political act."
--I constantly reflect on the change that happens when you become a parent. Suddenly the things that mattered so much before really have no bearing. You also become one of "them"--those individuals who seem obsessed with their children and that's all they can talk about. It isn't all of me, but it has become so much of me that to not talk about it is to not acknowledge the single most important shift in my life.
"Caring for him is like being responsible for the weather, for the grass growing: my privileged relationship with tie has changed, and though these tasks are not yet arduous they already constitute a sort of serfdom, a slavery, in that I am not free to go. It is a humbling change. It represents too a reckoning of my former freedom, my distance from duty. The harness of motherhood chafes my skin, and yet occasionally I find predictable integrity in it too, a freedom of a different sort: from complexity and choice and from reams of unscripted time upon which I used to write my days, bearing the burden of their authorship. It does not escape me that in this last sentiment I am walking over the grave of my sex. The state of motherhood speaks to my native fear of achievement."
"I couldn't spend a Saturday morning reading, that I couldn't stroll unfettered in the warmth of a summer's evening or go swimming or wander down to the pub for a drink. The loss of these things seemed a high, an exorbitant price to pay for the privilege of motherhood; and though much was given back to me in the form of my daughter it was not payment in kind nor even in a different coin, was not in fact recompense of any sort."
--I can't say this prison of my own making isn't uncomfortable. It's like trying on a new skin and realizing nothing about you is the same. The ups are new types of up while the downs are the deepest darkest recesses of hell. Labor and delivery constitute a test of which when passed only charges you head on into a new and complex existence that you aren't prepared for. Nothing prepares you for this.
"I know it is the hardest work I have ever done I worry that my execution of it has been somehow flawed and unauthentic, a burned offering, a botched canvas. Perhaps it is only children who confer upon their parents this meaning I feel myself to lack...I vow to own my feelings of inadequacy and in authenticity. I vow to end this succession, this history of ruler and ruled, here with me."
--The intense primal desire to do well, to have an impact on this precious life and so to give your life meaning is the reason for continuing. These variations on motherhood are the paint that fleshes out the canvas of our existence. Without these depths we are nothing. But they are terrifying in the light of one's internal reflection. I have only begun the great work of shaping not only my son's life, but striving to understand my own.
Denora
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
The Seasons Change
It's been five weeks since I gave birth to my son.
It's amazing how much things can change in even five weeks. I look outside and the leaves are changing and falling from the trees. The temperature has noticeably fallen and there is a distinct smell of autumn in the air whenever you walk outside. The squirrels are constantly eating and storing up for what I'm guessing is going to be a cold winter. In my mind I remember all the way back to January when I first learned I was pregnant and think...where did this year go? I spent the entire summer as big as a house and now here we are. This leads me to the next lesson along the path--seasons change.
My last post wasn't very sunny. I've been working through the intense emotions that come with leaving a seven year career and becoming a stay-at-home mom, not to mention the marathon that is pregnancy and delivery and new motherhood. I am horribly sleep deprived and on the steepest learning curve of my life trying to navigate the needs of this new life in my arms. There are days where I resent my decisions, not because they are bad but because in a way this feels like voluntary imprisonment and insanity. There are moments that make up for all of it--when my little one smiles at me and giggles it makes all of the craziness seem worth it. My point is I'm a work in progress. This life I'm building is some massive construction site and the bricks and mortar are laying everywhere. But the seasons are changing. I realized yesterday as I took my first jog around my block ever so slowly that my body despite being bent all kinds of ways is still healthy and strong. It's going to take a hell of a lot of work to get me back to where I was pre-baby and I may not even get there. The days of being (relatively) effortlessly in shape may be behind me. But this is the new season of my life as a mother. I read a very sobering article on post partum body image here: http://www.lalecheleague.org/nb/nbsepoct00p156.html
The same goes for the stay-at-home part. I read a fantastic article on that here: http://themattwalshblog.com/2013/10/09/youre-a-stay-at-home-mom-what-do-you-do-all-day/
It helps me put these things into perspective when I stop thinking about all the things I gave up to stop working and think instead on all the things I'm gaining by being with my little one every day. I don't have to pay for daycare sure, but I also don't have to agonize over someone else raising my child and me only getting time with him on weekends. I realize everyday that the little signals he gives to let me know he needs something are his own language, and I can care for him better because I recognize it. I also think of the bonds we're building and I am crazy thankful everyday that my husband is hard working and loves his family and I can raise our kids.
These are the seasons of my life. They constantly change. But I'm getting slowly better at being OK with that.
Denora
It's amazing how much things can change in even five weeks. I look outside and the leaves are changing and falling from the trees. The temperature has noticeably fallen and there is a distinct smell of autumn in the air whenever you walk outside. The squirrels are constantly eating and storing up for what I'm guessing is going to be a cold winter. In my mind I remember all the way back to January when I first learned I was pregnant and think...where did this year go? I spent the entire summer as big as a house and now here we are. This leads me to the next lesson along the path--seasons change.
My last post wasn't very sunny. I've been working through the intense emotions that come with leaving a seven year career and becoming a stay-at-home mom, not to mention the marathon that is pregnancy and delivery and new motherhood. I am horribly sleep deprived and on the steepest learning curve of my life trying to navigate the needs of this new life in my arms. There are days where I resent my decisions, not because they are bad but because in a way this feels like voluntary imprisonment and insanity. There are moments that make up for all of it--when my little one smiles at me and giggles it makes all of the craziness seem worth it. My point is I'm a work in progress. This life I'm building is some massive construction site and the bricks and mortar are laying everywhere. But the seasons are changing. I realized yesterday as I took my first jog around my block ever so slowly that my body despite being bent all kinds of ways is still healthy and strong. It's going to take a hell of a lot of work to get me back to where I was pre-baby and I may not even get there. The days of being (relatively) effortlessly in shape may be behind me. But this is the new season of my life as a mother. I read a very sobering article on post partum body image here: http://www.lalecheleague.org/nb/nbsepoct00p156.html
The same goes for the stay-at-home part. I read a fantastic article on that here: http://themattwalshblog.com/2013/10/09/youre-a-stay-at-home-mom-what-do-you-do-all-day/
It helps me put these things into perspective when I stop thinking about all the things I gave up to stop working and think instead on all the things I'm gaining by being with my little one every day. I don't have to pay for daycare sure, but I also don't have to agonize over someone else raising my child and me only getting time with him on weekends. I realize everyday that the little signals he gives to let me know he needs something are his own language, and I can care for him better because I recognize it. I also think of the bonds we're building and I am crazy thankful everyday that my husband is hard working and loves his family and I can raise our kids.
These are the seasons of my life. They constantly change. But I'm getting slowly better at being OK with that.
Denora
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Through the Forest...
Time has a way of changing perspectives, and life has a way of changing depending on which perspective you are using. If you had told me a year ago that I would be purchasing a home, having a baby, and separating from the Air Force I probably would have laughed at the thought--but perspectives change.
My separation package has gone all the way through AFPC. I have orders in hand. And I am completely at a loss as to what my life will entail come 1 August 2013. My first reaction was fear--fear of not having income, fear of not having the Air Force to fall back on for so many things; the foremost being a sense of purpose and of identity. When you serve your country even for a short amount of time there is a shift that occurs in your mentality. You have become a brother or sister in arms and so much of who you are becomes engrained with the uniform. I can appreciate the identity crisis that occurs in folks who have done 20 years or more. Half of your life has been lived serving and now you are free. What do you do after that? Where do you go? I haven't served for 20 years, but I have served long enough that my professional identity is that of an Air Force officer...I don't know anything else.
You have to look in the mirror and begin to focus on who you are outside of the military. I am a seminary student. I am a soon-to-be mother. I am a wife. A daughter. A friend. I have a home and I have two hands and will develop a new identity as time goes by. I will always cherish the time I served. I am thankful to have had the opportunity and for all the amazing people and places I've been. But there is a new chapter in my life that is beginning. I'm excited for the possibilities to come. I want to start my own business. I need to finish my degree so I can begin helping others in a new way. We think the path is always so clear in the moment...what happens when you hit the forest?
Blessings,
Denora
My separation package has gone all the way through AFPC. I have orders in hand. And I am completely at a loss as to what my life will entail come 1 August 2013. My first reaction was fear--fear of not having income, fear of not having the Air Force to fall back on for so many things; the foremost being a sense of purpose and of identity. When you serve your country even for a short amount of time there is a shift that occurs in your mentality. You have become a brother or sister in arms and so much of who you are becomes engrained with the uniform. I can appreciate the identity crisis that occurs in folks who have done 20 years or more. Half of your life has been lived serving and now you are free. What do you do after that? Where do you go? I haven't served for 20 years, but I have served long enough that my professional identity is that of an Air Force officer...I don't know anything else.
You have to look in the mirror and begin to focus on who you are outside of the military. I am a seminary student. I am a soon-to-be mother. I am a wife. A daughter. A friend. I have a home and I have two hands and will develop a new identity as time goes by. I will always cherish the time I served. I am thankful to have had the opportunity and for all the amazing people and places I've been. But there is a new chapter in my life that is beginning. I'm excited for the possibilities to come. I want to start my own business. I need to finish my degree so I can begin helping others in a new way. We think the path is always so clear in the moment...what happens when you hit the forest?
Blessings,
Denora
Monday, October 8, 2012
It's OK to be Less Than Perfect
I know I've ranted recently about the idea of self love and the need to cultivate it in our daily lives. It sounds like a really lovely idea too: "sorry I can't work those extra hours today, I need to go to yoga" or "no I will not bake an extra set of cookies for you, I deserve a pedicure..." the list goes on and on.
I had an interesting conversation with my aunt last night. The topic centered around the stresses we endure everyday (some realistic and some are self-induced). One of my biggest stressors as of late has been my decision to go to seminary school and my perhaps mistaken belief that my family thinks I'm crazy for doing it. What I didn't realize was how this belief colored the rest of what's going on in my life--without familial support for one of the biggest decisions of my life I've applied that stress in a way that translates to "I'm not good enough" and "they aren't proud of my accomplishments." This then distills itself into other areas of life like work, relationships, weight and body issues, etc. My aunt made a convincing point last night as well--she said people can only relate in terms of their own experiences. If you're talking to someone who's never had a drive to attend seminary school, can they really understand where you're coming from? In the end, who cares as long as you're happy? (this is admittedly sometimes harder to qualify, especially if family support is really important to you)
In my Vocation and Orientation class we're reading and speaking a lot about following our calling and living an authentic life. I asked the question last week about living a less-than-authentic life due to fear of societal pressures and lack of resources (i.e. money) I think that translates into other areas of our lives as well--"I need to weigh this much in order to be beautiful" and "I need to make this much money to be successful." In the end I think we need to give ourselves permission to not be perfect. I'm never going to please everyone in my life, but if I keep trying I'm never going to please me either.
You really are just where you need to be, just the way you are.
Blessings,
Denora
I had an interesting conversation with my aunt last night. The topic centered around the stresses we endure everyday (some realistic and some are self-induced). One of my biggest stressors as of late has been my decision to go to seminary school and my perhaps mistaken belief that my family thinks I'm crazy for doing it. What I didn't realize was how this belief colored the rest of what's going on in my life--without familial support for one of the biggest decisions of my life I've applied that stress in a way that translates to "I'm not good enough" and "they aren't proud of my accomplishments." This then distills itself into other areas of life like work, relationships, weight and body issues, etc. My aunt made a convincing point last night as well--she said people can only relate in terms of their own experiences. If you're talking to someone who's never had a drive to attend seminary school, can they really understand where you're coming from? In the end, who cares as long as you're happy? (this is admittedly sometimes harder to qualify, especially if family support is really important to you)
In my Vocation and Orientation class we're reading and speaking a lot about following our calling and living an authentic life. I asked the question last week about living a less-than-authentic life due to fear of societal pressures and lack of resources (i.e. money) I think that translates into other areas of our lives as well--"I need to weigh this much in order to be beautiful" and "I need to make this much money to be successful." In the end I think we need to give ourselves permission to not be perfect. I'm never going to please everyone in my life, but if I keep trying I'm never going to please me either.
You really are just where you need to be, just the way you are.
Blessings,
Denora
Monday, September 17, 2012
Cosmic Musings
This week has been truly enlightening for me for various reasons. The first reason is rather unfortunate--a close friend of the family is currently extremely ill and undergoing a lot of hospital care. While the circumstances of this fact are sad, when I found out about this situation I was shocked at how strong my reaction was.
I'm a healer. I work with energy, I like to dabble in herbalism and I am absolutely and without a doubt fascinated in any of the ancient systems for restoring balance within the human body (Ayurveda, Chinese Medicine, Homeopathic treatments) I HAD to do something about this situation--it was an almost primal need to help someone in distress. This helps me realize I'm doing the right thing, day by day, inch by inch.
Additionally, I'm finding out more about myself and my path as I go along. I'm learning to listen to that quiet inner voice that doesn't lie when circumstances are shady or you need to tweak something. "Don't go down that path, it's a dead end..."
Being true to yourself is probably one of the most difficult experiences you could ever intentionally have. Change in the face of life circumstances is painful--and when divinity tells you it's time for something new our first response is to wail and kick and scream and cry, bemoan our woes, and go wallow somewhere in self pity for awhile. That's ok, because divinity can wait (indefinitely). Eventually, when you're done throwing a pity party you'll pick yourself up and soldier on.
The end result is always a stronger and clearer picture of that wonderful work of art that you are. I'm not sure why we hate the process of change so much, but the results are amazing! We get to look back and realize there was no need for all the fuss. Having to read SO much for classes lately led me to this statement and I think it's universally true:
"The true icon is your neighbor, the human being who has been created in the image and with the likeness of God. How beautiful it is when our eyes are transfigured and we see that our neighbor is the icon of God, and that you, and you, and I--we are all the icons of God. How serious it is when we hate the image of God, whoever that may be, whether a Jew or a Palestinian. How serious it is when we cannot go and say, 'I am sorry about the icon of God who was hurt by my behaviour.' We all need to be transfigured so we can recognise the glory of God in one another." (2001,46-47)
This touches on a few themes for me, particularly recognizing the divinity within us. We have gods and goddesses within us guiding us to our true nature every day. When we live our lives in the spirit of love we become one with that nature, perpetuating all that is beautiful about humanity. When we decide not to live our lives in the spirit of love we become cut off from that essence and we all suffer. I ask that you think about this the next time you want to be really ugly to someone else...would you say and do those things to God?
Bright Blessings,
Denora
I'm a healer. I work with energy, I like to dabble in herbalism and I am absolutely and without a doubt fascinated in any of the ancient systems for restoring balance within the human body (Ayurveda, Chinese Medicine, Homeopathic treatments) I HAD to do something about this situation--it was an almost primal need to help someone in distress. This helps me realize I'm doing the right thing, day by day, inch by inch.
Additionally, I'm finding out more about myself and my path as I go along. I'm learning to listen to that quiet inner voice that doesn't lie when circumstances are shady or you need to tweak something. "Don't go down that path, it's a dead end..."
Being true to yourself is probably one of the most difficult experiences you could ever intentionally have. Change in the face of life circumstances is painful--and when divinity tells you it's time for something new our first response is to wail and kick and scream and cry, bemoan our woes, and go wallow somewhere in self pity for awhile. That's ok, because divinity can wait (indefinitely). Eventually, when you're done throwing a pity party you'll pick yourself up and soldier on.
The end result is always a stronger and clearer picture of that wonderful work of art that you are. I'm not sure why we hate the process of change so much, but the results are amazing! We get to look back and realize there was no need for all the fuss. Having to read SO much for classes lately led me to this statement and I think it's universally true:
"The true icon is your neighbor, the human being who has been created in the image and with the likeness of God. How beautiful it is when our eyes are transfigured and we see that our neighbor is the icon of God, and that you, and you, and I--we are all the icons of God. How serious it is when we hate the image of God, whoever that may be, whether a Jew or a Palestinian. How serious it is when we cannot go and say, 'I am sorry about the icon of God who was hurt by my behaviour.' We all need to be transfigured so we can recognise the glory of God in one another." (2001,46-47)
This touches on a few themes for me, particularly recognizing the divinity within us. We have gods and goddesses within us guiding us to our true nature every day. When we live our lives in the spirit of love we become one with that nature, perpetuating all that is beautiful about humanity. When we decide not to live our lives in the spirit of love we become cut off from that essence and we all suffer. I ask that you think about this the next time you want to be really ugly to someone else...would you say and do those things to God?
Bright Blessings,
Denora
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Religion: That ol' Black Magic (otherwise known as what lens are you using?)
Earlier this week I posted a quote from the 14th Dalai Lama on my FB page. Little did I know this tiny quote would spark so much controversy:
"The time has come to find a way of thinking about spirituality and ethics that is beyond religion." --Dalai Lama
My original intent for posting this quote was not to start WWIII; rather I wanted to agree with his holiness that religion, while a (generally) positive construct of modern society, is not the end-all be-all of human existence or even human spirituality. In fact, studies are showing more and more people are claiming themselves to be "spiritual" but not necessarily "religious." What does this mean? Are more people becoming atheists? Are they losing faith in God?
A mentor of mine posted a reply to the discussion on my page:
"There's a saying that, "If there is no God, nothing matters. If there is a God, nothing else matters." Because I believe the second proposition to be true, every other question ultimately finds its resolution there, even apparently trivial...
http://www.philippianjailer.com/2012/02/does-god-care-who-wins-super-bowl.html
For the record, I love to talk to all kinds of people about what exactly "God" represents for them. For my mentor he is the omnipotent God of Christianity. For me things are a little more complicated. Herein lies the clincher. When we use the lens of religion we limit ourselves to what that construct means and what terms validate that construct. "God" carries different meanings for a Jew, Muslim, or Christian as compared to a Hindu, Pagan, Agnostic, or even Atheist. 'Religion' has a place in many discussions, but I personally believe it to be an exclusive term with stipulations attached. In this case 'spirituality' may be a more inclusive and universally inviting term. I compare the two terms in meaning and likeness to two other terms I used in a recent essay: religious tolerance and religious pluralism
Here is a link to that essay: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yc9DtaQFARbc7_cDtbxSm0AXhwS1y0PwSeRddcz6J5c/edit
Blessings,
Denora
"The time has come to find a way of thinking about spirituality and ethics that is beyond religion." --Dalai Lama
My original intent for posting this quote was not to start WWIII; rather I wanted to agree with his holiness that religion, while a (generally) positive construct of modern society, is not the end-all be-all of human existence or even human spirituality. In fact, studies are showing more and more people are claiming themselves to be "spiritual" but not necessarily "religious." What does this mean? Are more people becoming atheists? Are they losing faith in God?
A mentor of mine posted a reply to the discussion on my page:
"There's a saying that, "If there is no God, nothing matters. If there is a God, nothing else matters." Because I believe the second proposition to be true, every other question ultimately finds its resolution there, even apparently trivial...
ones, for "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Paul's Epistle to the Romans 8:28)"
For the record, I love to talk to all kinds of people about what exactly "God" represents for them. For my mentor he is the omnipotent God of Christianity. For me things are a little more complicated. Herein lies the clincher. When we use the lens of religion we limit ourselves to what that construct means and what terms validate that construct. "God" carries different meanings for a Jew, Muslim, or Christian as compared to a Hindu, Pagan, Agnostic, or even Atheist. 'Religion' has a place in many discussions, but I personally believe it to be an exclusive term with stipulations attached. In this case 'spirituality' may be a more inclusive and universally inviting term. I compare the two terms in meaning and likeness to two other terms I used in a recent essay: religious tolerance and religious pluralism
Here is a link to that essay: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yc9DtaQFARbc7_cDtbxSm0AXhwS1y0PwSeRddcz6J5c/edit
In the end we need to find ways of communicating with each other than are constructive and respectful. We can disagree all day long on semantics, but there is meaning in the space we share as humans beings on this planet and in this divine universe.
Blessings,
Denora
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Reaffirming the Journey
So today is technically day three of my first "intensive" seminary experience. As I reflect on all the things that brought me to this point I come up with a few thoughts:
1) No matter how alone you think you may be, especially in an online environment, there are those who feel exactly the same at some point. Additionally, feeling inadequate about how much time you're devoting to something or how well you're doing is entirely relative to just you. If we all spent our lives trying to be Michael Phelps I think a lot of us would be disappointed.
2) I have never felt as inspired by any of my previous academic experiences. Let me highlight that point by saying the people I've met on this journey and continue to meet are in my opinion the bridge-builders of our society. They are simply amazing people who continue to challenge assumptions and make a real difference in this world, and they inspire me to want to learn more, do more, and be the best I can be.
3) Seminary education is hella hard. No one ever warns you of this before you take that first step. But if you can keep placing one foot in front of the other one day at a time you will look back one day and realize you've travelled so far. And if you're lucky, somebody is going to join you on different legs of that journey--they may not travel the whole way with you, but you know you're never alone.
4) We are changing the world. Our friends may not understand, our family might not support us, we may not even grasp what it is we're doing, but we are doing something magical and that deserves its own shout out.
Blessings,
Denora
1) No matter how alone you think you may be, especially in an online environment, there are those who feel exactly the same at some point. Additionally, feeling inadequate about how much time you're devoting to something or how well you're doing is entirely relative to just you. If we all spent our lives trying to be Michael Phelps I think a lot of us would be disappointed.
2) I have never felt as inspired by any of my previous academic experiences. Let me highlight that point by saying the people I've met on this journey and continue to meet are in my opinion the bridge-builders of our society. They are simply amazing people who continue to challenge assumptions and make a real difference in this world, and they inspire me to want to learn more, do more, and be the best I can be.
3) Seminary education is hella hard. No one ever warns you of this before you take that first step. But if you can keep placing one foot in front of the other one day at a time you will look back one day and realize you've travelled so far. And if you're lucky, somebody is going to join you on different legs of that journey--they may not travel the whole way with you, but you know you're never alone.
4) We are changing the world. Our friends may not understand, our family might not support us, we may not even grasp what it is we're doing, but we are doing something magical and that deserves its own shout out.
Blessings,
Denora
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Religious Diversity
I wrote this very short essay in honor of my friend Don Larsen for one of my classes this quarter:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1pqSkr40y-vg6bOd-ZupilKwO5Xz0mwGTqFqhQQxwq9I/edit
If I had longer to devote to the topic I would have expanded on my feelings regarding religious pluralism. However, I will say this much...I feel it is essential that people of different faiths focus more on the similarities of their beliefs than the differences. We can spout about peace and love until we are blue in the face but we must ACT in order for it to become a reality.
"This attitude is essentially based on a non-literal view of one's religious traditions, hence allowing for respect to be engendered between different traditions on fundamental principles rather than more marginal issues. It is perhaps summarized as an attitude which rejects focus on immaterial differences, and instead gives respect to those beliefs held in common."
Bright Blessings,
Denora
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1pqSkr40y-vg6bOd-ZupilKwO5Xz0mwGTqFqhQQxwq9I/edit
If I had longer to devote to the topic I would have expanded on my feelings regarding religious pluralism. However, I will say this much...I feel it is essential that people of different faiths focus more on the similarities of their beliefs than the differences. We can spout about peace and love until we are blue in the face but we must ACT in order for it to become a reality.
"This attitude is essentially based on a non-literal view of one's religious traditions, hence allowing for respect to be engendered between different traditions on fundamental principles rather than more marginal issues. It is perhaps summarized as an attitude which rejects focus on immaterial differences, and instead gives respect to those beliefs held in common."
Bright Blessings,
Denora
Sunday, July 8, 2012
The Perpetual Marathon
Let me start by saying I hate running. In fact, hate may not be a strong enough word to describe how much I loathe the act of running. "Well, why did you run a half-marathon last year?" you ask. Well for one, I wanted to prove I could do it. Just because I hate something doesn't mean I'm going to let it own me. Also, I had to define and realize for myself just HOW MUCH I cannot stand running. Ok, now that we understand each other on this point I will say that running provides the almost perfect descriptive scenario for my life right now.
First, you're super excited because you signed up for a race (in this case, a school semester or other such commitment) you train, get organized, and pump yourself up for the task. Then the day of the race is here and you're on the starting line...BOOM it's time to go. You start off strong--and then you hit the wall. I'm on month two and the combination of work, obligations, school, and life in general has drained me of all my well-intended energy. The intricate dance of life-balancing started off so perfectly only to be reduced to a mish-mash of desperate attempts to remain abreast of deadlines and goals and plans. I'm on mile 6.5 and we still have a few hills to climb but my lungs are burning and my shins are screaming. I NEED REST. But I will continue to run...I'm stubborn like that.
In retrospect this is sort of what I signed up for. You may or may not know that I already have a few milestones marked off my list. (other than a half-marathon) I finished my first master's degree in December of 2010--a feat that I had promised I would complete before ever thinking about procreating. So what am I doing now?? Why all the moaning about life being like a marathon?? Well, I sort of made this huge life decision to go to seminary, acquire a master's in divinity, and take my chances at becoming a Wiccan chaplain. Woah. What? Yeah.
See, I love being in the Air Force. It's awesome. But I've never quite felt super excited about my job. (shocker) And, to top it off I have all this random knowledge rumbling around in my head about biological processes and international trade agreements and national security policies (hello free education!) but NOTHING related to my "job" in the Air Force. I put "job" in quotations because many would argue that officership and leadership is job number one whilst communications is job number two. However, I have this insane need to help people. I like talking to people, I like listening to people, and I like helping people. Oh, and I am a Wiccan in the military helping other Wiccans who don't have a chaplain. I'm making this a lighter post on the subject, but the more I learn and the longer I pursue this goal the more I realize how important this is--and just how much I could fail. See, others have failed before me. Others who have lost their careers in the pursuit of ensuring religious pluralism is upheld. I refuse to fail.
This is my marathon.
For lighter reading I ask those who may be interested to check out this article about one of my personal heros and our struggle: https://docs.google.com/open?id=0ByAY6igmY7VRd0pydUdKZ2ZGOFU
Bright Blessings,
Denora
First, you're super excited because you signed up for a race (in this case, a school semester or other such commitment) you train, get organized, and pump yourself up for the task. Then the day of the race is here and you're on the starting line...BOOM it's time to go. You start off strong--and then you hit the wall. I'm on month two and the combination of work, obligations, school, and life in general has drained me of all my well-intended energy. The intricate dance of life-balancing started off so perfectly only to be reduced to a mish-mash of desperate attempts to remain abreast of deadlines and goals and plans. I'm on mile 6.5 and we still have a few hills to climb but my lungs are burning and my shins are screaming. I NEED REST. But I will continue to run...I'm stubborn like that.
In retrospect this is sort of what I signed up for. You may or may not know that I already have a few milestones marked off my list. (other than a half-marathon) I finished my first master's degree in December of 2010--a feat that I had promised I would complete before ever thinking about procreating. So what am I doing now?? Why all the moaning about life being like a marathon?? Well, I sort of made this huge life decision to go to seminary, acquire a master's in divinity, and take my chances at becoming a Wiccan chaplain. Woah. What? Yeah.
See, I love being in the Air Force. It's awesome. But I've never quite felt super excited about my job. (shocker) And, to top it off I have all this random knowledge rumbling around in my head about biological processes and international trade agreements and national security policies (hello free education!) but NOTHING related to my "job" in the Air Force. I put "job" in quotations because many would argue that officership and leadership is job number one whilst communications is job number two. However, I have this insane need to help people. I like talking to people, I like listening to people, and I like helping people. Oh, and I am a Wiccan in the military helping other Wiccans who don't have a chaplain. I'm making this a lighter post on the subject, but the more I learn and the longer I pursue this goal the more I realize how important this is--and just how much I could fail. See, others have failed before me. Others who have lost their careers in the pursuit of ensuring religious pluralism is upheld. I refuse to fail.
This is my marathon.
For lighter reading I ask those who may be interested to check out this article about one of my personal heros and our struggle: https://docs.google.com/open?id=0ByAY6igmY7VRd0pydUdKZ2ZGOFU
Bright Blessings,
Denora
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