Friday, December 5, 2014

A Pagan Parenting Dilemma on Christmas

I had an interesting encounter this past weekend. As expected, the minute Thanksgiving is over we are inundated with Christmas--everything from music to shopping and decorations, etc. I was washing dishes and my son was watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, one of his favorite shows. Well...the episode just happened to be about Mickey and the gang saving Santa so that he could deliver presents to all the good children of the world on Christmas.

Now, my family celebrates Christmas. I also happen to observe Yule in my own ways, and have included my family in some ritual traditions over the years. As my son gets older I fully plan to continue observing both holidays for the coming together of family and the joy of the season. But this encounter with Mickey and Santa has me perplexed. I mentioned to my husband that I'm not completely convinced I want to lie to our son about Santa--as in, this fat old white guy flies all over the world and delivers presents to good children. The arguments against perpetuating such a lie are well summarized here:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/plato-pop/201312/the-santa-claus-lie-debate-answering-objections

(I'm also not a fan of the elf on the shelf, but that is for another post) I realize as a Pagan parent in our modern American society there are common cultural influences that we are exposed to regularly. I listen to classical Christmas choir music, which is eternally about the miracle birth of Christ our savior even though I am not Christian. I get that Santa is something that my kid will encounter and I'm working on formulating how and when I can navigate these conversations (both baby Jesus and Santa) while giving my son the space to choose what he wants to believe. In the end that's my ultimate goal: how can I maintain my authenticity as a Pagan parent while allowing my son to do the same? Any constructive feedback on the subject is welcome.

Blessings,

Denora

2 comments:

  1. this talk is wonderful, love this guy... at 12 minutes he addresses the Santa thing :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgDb_IMoKyQ

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  2. I have been there. 26 years ago when my oldest was born. What worked for me may not work for you, but maybe it will serve as inspiration. It’s hard to avoid Santa at this time of year. When they were little, and even now, the stockings get filled on Christmas Eve after they are in bed and they were allowed to draw their own conclusions as to how they got that way. Gifts were put under the tree as they came in the house, unless it was something that couldn’t be wrapped like a bike. They were told who each gift was from, friends and family or us. As they got older, we talked about the historical aspects of Christmas. Where different beliefs came from. They still get a history review on Christmas :) They always understood what we believed, and what others believed and were encourage to explore and decide what they believed. My tree is decorated with Stars, I still collect star ornaments. They know why I choose to do that. There is no Santa decorations in my home, there are no Angels either. There are snow men, lights and stars. They were never told Santa wouldn’t come if they didn’t behave, they were not taken to the mall to tell him what they wanted. What they did do, from a very early age, was make gifts for loved ones, learn about the history of Christmas, Yule, Solstice. The emphasis was put on Friends, Family, and doing for others, not on Santa, Baby Jesus, and Church. Teaching them to respect other’s beliefs was important and that is something that I know you do every day. You will find yourself saying “That is Santa, and some people believe _______, What do you think?”

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